Have you ever heard of the big bang theory? Not the actual theory, but the tv show.
I used to love the big bang theory, I even had "bazinga" tattooed on my chest. But that was until... The incident...
It was a dark and stormy night. I was walking down the street, when suddenly, something shiny caught my eye. Using my supernatural mind powers, I could already tell it was something relating to the big bang theory. I went over there to investigate. It was a DVD. The cover had a picture of Sheldon with a sinister expression, wagging his finger disapprovingly. The title of the DVD was "The Big Bang Theory: The final bazinga" I was puzzled. Surely this had to be a prank of some kind, I mean, there was no way this was actually the FINAL bazinga! There had to be many years worth of bazingas to come! I felt a tear run down my cheek, but I had to stay strong. I took the DVD home, I had to watch it immediately.
I popped the DVD into the player, and sat down with a big bowl of popcorn to watch. Amd of course, I was wearing my special Big Bang Theory watching shirt. I pressed play, and braced myself. The episode began with all the characters sitting on the couch. Right away, I could tell something was off. The floor was covered in cartoony blood! This was weird because this show is live action, so you'd expect the blood to be hyperrealistic! Sheldon looked directly at the camera and asked me if I'd ever heard of the big bang theory. I told him I have. He then said "Well you won't believe this episode of the big bang theory that I saw!" I was confused because he IS big bang theory sheldon! He said "It was a dark and stormy night, when I stumbled across a DVD titled "Sheldon's final bazinga" " This was weird because that was almost like the episode I was watching! He continued.. "Then I popped the episode into the DVD player, and started watching. There was blood everywhere, and Sheldon turned to the camera and he said, "Have you ever heard of the big bang theory? Well you won't believe this episode I saw! You see, I was walking down the street when I found a DVD titled "last bazinga!" And I took it home to watch it, and when the episode started, sheldon turned to the camera and said "Hey, have you ever heard of the big bang theory?" " " Okay what the fuck? It just kept going on like this for an hour, Sheldon talking about more sheldons talking about more sheldons, until it was 40 layers of creepypastaception!
I told sheldon to just get on with the rest of the story and tell me how it ends. Then Leonard told me to shut the hell up before looking at me all creepy-like. He then said, "Oh Billy Joe von dingleheimen, you must find out for yourself how the story ends!" Alright what the FUCK?? How does Leonard big bang theory know my real name?? "I've known all along! I've been watching you closely.. Every time you watch our show, I can see you, and smell you, and even taste you! I know everything Billy Joe!" After he said all this, I was shaking in terror. What does Leonard know?? "I know you found this DVD on a dark and stormy night, I know your favorite color is green, I know you had taco bell for supper last night, I know you jack off to George Jetson's wife, Jane!" I started screaming and crying, and I smashed the DVD player and the TV with a baseball bat. I ran out of the room and balled up on the floor, sucking my thumb. Just then there was knocking at my window, followed by the voice of sheldon "What's wrong, Billy joe? Can't handle this bazinga?" And then the entire big bang gang started laughing and bazinga-ing at me! I yelled out "Stop it! Nooo stop! I don't wanna bazinga anymore! Nooo!" Just then keeanu reeves showed up and was like "You heard him fellas... Leave him be..!" Sheldon snickered at Keeanu and he was all like "heheh make me!" And then they all broke out into an epic battle! Keeanu punched sheldon in the face and then Leonord tried to attack him, but he was too fast, and he picked up Leonard and swung him at the rest of the gang. Penny tried to sneak attack him, but he was too fast. All their blood was once again cartoony instead of hyperrealistic! Keeanu beat them all up and threw them into a pile. But then Sheldon got up and was like "Is that all you've got? You won't stand a chance against my bazinga-ray!" And then Sheldon's eyes started glowing red, and he was preparing to shoot. Keeanu was like "Nooo, looks like it's the end of the road!" But then I jumped in front of the blast, taking the hit for him! I died instantly, and Keeanu dropped to his knees, crying.
"Nooooo I tried to save him!" Sheldon rubbed his hands together. "Well that takes care of that, come on big bang gang, let's bounce!" And they all left. Keeanu held my dead body tightly, and was like "noo stay with me lil buddy!" And a tear rolled down his cheek and into my mouth. The taste of his friendship revived me instantly. I looked up at him and thanked him for saving me. We were best friends forever after that. And I never watched big bang theory ever again! But then about a week later I died of hypothermia from walking around in that storm earlier.