Haiii!! x3 I'm Katie! Garfield is LITERALLY one of my FAVE shows of all time. Or at least.. it WAS....... until the incident.... lol jk, I still like Garfield but like, what if?
So, the other day I was on discord, when one of the mods DMed me. He told me he got some kind of lost episodes of spongebob from a USB drive, and he wants to send them to me as a gift because I'm his "kitten". Yeah, like whatever.. yawn.. I stopped watching spongebob years ago because of this one episode that got me possesed by this murderous demon. Super inconvenient, but someone already wrote about that episode, so that's besides the point. The guy who sent it was also a total creep, I'm so sick of him constantly whining to me about what a nice guy he is, and how I always pick "Chad" over him, even though he "generously" sends me fucked up lost episodes of kids shows all the time to impress me. I don't even know who Chad is... I was about to block him and close the DM once again, but THEN I noticed one of the files was titled "garfieldthereckoning.mp4" which seemed to be a lost episode of Garfield and Friends! If you don't know what Garfield is, try going outside and communicating with other human beings. Suddenly, I was intruiged and I was totally DYING to see it, so I pressed that download button SUPER hard. Happy 13th birthday to me! >w< I would later come to to totally regret this, I guess. Not really, but it sounds super spooky to say that, right guys?
The intro was mostly normal, but really glitchy, and the music was in E minor. There was also a red tint on everything, and all the farm animals from the U.S acres segments were dead. I was kind of relieved to see this though, because I always hated those segments, I just wanna see Garfield! Luckily this episode was JUST Garfield, with none of that nonsense.
The episode started with garfield eating some lasagna, as he always does. Then Nermal walked into the room with a crazed look in his eye. The right eye specifically, the left eye looked normal. Garfield looked up from his lasagna and said, "NErrmaaaLL! What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm eating my lasagna? How am I gonna eat my lasagna with all that racket!?" Nermal was indeed making a lot of racket. For some reason, when he walked into the room, he was very loudly singing the golden girl's theme song, as well as playing the harmonica at the same time. He happened to have two mouths, but this wasn't that important, as it was probably just an animation error or something, and you know how Nermal is. Nermal looked at Garfield with a sinister expression, suddenly stopping the music. "It's time, Garfield!" he bellowed ominously, though in his usual voice, so it wasn't that ominous, but still weird. Garfield rolled his eyes and said "Time for you to piss off someone else?" as he continued gorging himself. Nermal's pupils rolled into the back of his head and he started levitating off the ground. "Lord Quan'thlem'borg is coming!" he yelled out. Garfield scoffed. "Right, I've heard that one before! Enough of your silly games! It's lasagna time for the big garf!" Nermal looked down at Garfield, perplexed. "I'm literally levitating three feet off the ground, and have glowing red eyes, what do you mean?" Garfield scoffed again, "Typical Nermal!" The floating Nermal gave up, and with his palm to his face, groaned, "Alright, fine whatever. I'm not doing this again." and the demon emerged from Nermal's body, revealing his true form to Garfield.
Garfield looked up at him and squealed like a schoolgirl. "Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" The demon was pleased to hear this. "Yes, that's right! Tremble before me! I am the all powerful god of destruction!" Garfield then jumped for joy at the sight of him, yelling out! "Lord Quan'thlem'borg! It really is you this time! I'm your biggest fan!" The demon looked at him, confused, as he continued, "My liege! I loved it when you possesed that Wubbzy guy and killed everyone! Can I have the honor of having you inside me next?" The demon backed away, muttering out, "I'd rather you didn't put it like that.." Garfield pulled out a list of all the people he wanted dead, and proceeded to go over it with his idol. "Normally I'd need Jon alive to make me lasagna, but of course, you can do that when we get married, so he can go." The demon was speechless, and stood there dumbfounded at that comment. Garfield grabbed him, in a firm embrace, as he squirmed, trying to get back. "I always knew this day would come! I have all your merchandise!" The demon finally shoved Garfield off of him. "What? I don't even have any-"
Just then, Nermal started waking up and scratching xer head. "huh.. what happened..?" While Nermal was passed out, xe had a spiritual awakening that resulted in xir realizing that xe was stargender and mercurykin, and a little pluto-coded, and now prefers to go by xe/xir pronouns. This wasn't explicitly stated in the episode, but I could obviously tell based on the subtext. The episode was pretty creepy so far, but I was so proud of Nermal. When Garfield saw Nermal arise, he yelled out "That one first, my love!" Nermal was confused for a moment, but then saw the eldritch horror next to his friend. Nermal screamed, and started backing away, nervously. Garfield grabbed a knife from the kitchen, and slowly approached Nermal, who was freaking out, and begging for xir life. "Now now, Nermal!" Garfield said ominously, "You'll be the perfect sacrifice to prove my devotion!" He swung the knife at xir, missing. Garfield, frustrated, grabbed Nermal, putting the knife up to xir throat, slowly grimacing. Nermal panicked and bit Garfield on the hand, causing him to drop xir. "Grr, why you little-!" Garfield spat, as Nermal ran out the door, and for the hills. Garfield clung to Lord Quan'thlem'borg. "Apologies, my master! I promise I can be a better killer with your power! Take my body now, Mr.thlem'borg! Or, since we're so close now, can I call you Quan?" Quan shoved the orange cat off of him once more, and backed away from him. "Yeah, I don't know about this.. I think I'll head over to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and take over their world or something." With that, Quan stood there for a moment, and snapped his fingers, getting increasingly frustrated. "Huh? What's going on?" Garfield smirked, and pulled a small device out of his pocket. "Do you like it? I created this device that can disable dark magic within a fourty mile radius! Just in case you try to teleport away from me in a puff of smoke!" Quan snatched the device out of his hand, holding it over his head, ready to smash it as Garfield chuckled. "And I hid twelve more of them around the house just in case you try to break it!" Garfield chuckled again. "This is better than that time when I killed Sam Sam Sam!" I thought Garfield was being kind of rude and should just let the emo demon guy leave, but it went on like this. This wasn't the Garfield I knew and loved...
Garfield begged Quan to posess him once again, to which his new buddy refused. "Sorry, Garfield! I am a little uncomfortable, and I don't consent to taking over your body and killing all your friends and aquaintances." Garfield got a sad look of despair. "Oh.. I see how it is. I guess nice cats like me never get the eldtrich abomination... I suppose you'll pick some jerk like Odie or something.. I might as well just kill myself! Also, not many people know this, but it's actually pronounced 'jarfield'." Quan ran towards the door, only to find Garfield had locked it after Nermal left. Garfield slowly approached him, muttering to himself, at first incoherently, and then I could suddenly begin making out the words. "One day you'll take over every cartoon world and posess every main character like the slut you are! But you'll never find a great cat like me ever again. One day you'll come crawling back to me, I know it!" Quan screamed at Garfield to stay back, and ran up the stairs to try and find a room to hide in. Garfield ran up the stairs after him, but was much slower because he doesn't get much exercize.
It was at about this point, my computer screen starting oozing blood, which was really annoying. Garfield walked down the hallway, dragging his claws against the wall next to him, with a sinister smirk on his face. The scene cut to Quan hiding in what looked like a small dark room. He fumbled around before finding a lightswitch. When the lights came on, there was a look of horror on his face when he saw the room he was standing in completely adorned in photos of him, some photos even depicted him without his hood, and seemed to have been taken without his knowledge. Next to the photos was a corkboard covered in more pictures, as well as sloppily written notes, blueprints, and what looked like pages from The Book Of Shadows shoddily connected with red strings. There was a pentagram drawn in the middle of the room in chalk, staind with blood. It almost looked like Garfield had been obsessively trying to summon him for months or even years. His shock grew further when he shifted his gaze to the other side of the room, where the bloodied and mutilated corpse of his lifelong nemesis, Zabalathorth the protector was prominantly displayed tied to a long rod with his own entrails, with a lampshade made of his flesh placed on top of his head and a cord wrapped around his body, plugged into the wall behind him. He didn't really give much of a shit about that guy, it was just kind of weird seeing him turned into a lamp, though he was a tad bit impressed by the artistry. He stared at the room in awe, until the black ooze in his veins began to run cold, as he felt heavy breathing on the back of his neck, followed by two fuzzy paws caressing his shoulders and a chillingly familiar voice that made him jump. "Hey, I found you! I'm sorry we had that little argument earlier... I said some things, you said some things! But we're over it now, right?" Quan screamed and stumbled away from Garfield, who was now holding his arms out. "Hey, come on! Where my hug at??" The screen started glitching a bit, but I figured that could be because the file came from some kind of sketchy place. I mean, I definitely haven't ever seen THIS episode before, and I'm feeling pretty certain it's some kind of bootleg maybe?
The next scene was a montage of Quan hiding from Garfield in different areas of the house only to be found quickly. This included a scooby-doo-esque scene of them in a long hallway lined with doors, running in and out of the doors, as Garfield chased him. It ended with a scene of him running into the attic, out of breath, only to reveal Garfield was already in there, lying in the middle of a red pentagram with incantations around the edges, surrounded in candles. "Alright, I'm ready when you are!" he announced. Quan grabbed a thick necronomicon off a nearby shelf and used it to break the window next to him, and jumped out to his freedom, and began running for the hills. Garfield of course jumped out and began running after him with bloodshot eyes. Quan jumped into a taxi, asking to go fourty miles into any direction. Garfield hopped into his iconic Garf mobile to follow as closely as possible behind him. The chase scene lasted for several minutes. I got up to go get a snack, and when I got back I was somewhat peeved to see it was still going. We finally transitioned to the final scene of the episode after what seemed like forever. Quan had left the taxi, and was now running for the city limit that would mark fourty miles, and be officially out of range of Garfield's devices so he could escape this wretched world.
Garfield wasn't gonna let this slide. He lept onto him, holding him down. He tried to claw at the ground and drag himself the last couple feet, but to no avail. "Please! Just enter my body! I bathed yesterday, you'll love it in there! Please give me a chance! Just one slaughterfest is all I ask!" Garfield batted his eyes in a cute and flirty way at him. Quan groaned, "Dammit, this is supposed to be their eternal torment, not mine.." Just then, Nermal returned and walked into view, and asked just what in tarnation was going on here. Quan reached out to Nermal, frantically. "Nermal! Help me! Garfield is fucking insane!" Garfield scoffed, "And just what is HE gonna do?" Nermal then got a furious expression, which the camera zoomed in on, subly shaking. "Actually.... I GO BY XE/XIR NOW!!" (See? I told you!) Nermal yelled as xe angrily charged at Garfield, toppling him to the ground, allowing Quan to slip out from under his grasp and escape. Garfield yelled out a desperate "Nooooooooooo!" Nermal smacked him around a bit before getting up and brushing xirself off. "Sorry about that little outburst, Garfield! I just got a little worked up is all, I suppose that was very unbecoming of me, as I should have just informed you about my new pronouns earlier! My bad!" Garfield got up and replied, "Whatever, Nermal, I support you. But Dammit, my precious demon love! I guess you're gonna leave me now, huh?" Garfield sighs. "Whatever, just like everyone else does..." Nermal grabbed his shoulder, "I won't leave you Garfie-" xe was cut off "Shut the hell up Nermal, I wasn't talking to you." Lord Quan'thlem'borg told Garfield to fuck off. "I would kill you for all of this, but I feel like you'd enjoy that a bit too much, so I'm just gonna leave." and he disappeared in a puff of smoke. Garfield dropped to his knees, sobbing and yelling out "Whhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!??" Nermal checked xir watch and realized it was time for xir book club with Odie, and silently left Garfield rocking back and forth in the dirt, crying and sucking his thumb. Xe left with a bit of encouragement, "Maybe you'll have better luck with Cthulu!" And then the credits rolled, and the episode was over. Personally, I thought it was a weird episode, but hey, like I said, at least the stupid farm animal segments were absent, so that's a plus. I decided to hover my cursor over the progress bar to check for any extra post credit scenes. There was no epilouge or anything, but there was a short message at the end. I clicked over to it so I could read what it said.
"The following lost episode is intended for Randall's eyes only! This short episode about Spongebob getting stuck in traffic and getting into an accident due to his impatience is intended to teach you a valuable lesson! STOP BEING A CREEP ON DISCORD, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO!" I scratched my head in confusion at the episode description, cuz like, that's not at all what I just watched. But I do agree that guy's totally a creepazoid, but how does the episode know his name? The text faded into another message, reading. "If the contents of the episode are different than described, please report any anomolies to Beaverman Studios LLC (followed by an email and phone number). We are aware of an evil spirit of some sort invading our episodes and changing the contents to highly disturbing material, more disturbing than they're intended to be. We at the studio are working on getting this issue resolved! We ask that you send any tainted files back to us! Thanks! - Beaverman" Well, I guess that explains that. I don't need yet ANOTHER vengeful demonic spirit taking over my body, giving me an urge to kill, obtained from a haunted cartoon episode. Like, no thanks! Just thought I'd talk my experience before I mail this USB back over to this beaver dude.
Katie, OUT! UwU