I assume you know about Spongebob. It's a really popular show on Nickelodeon. But, did you know it's hiding a dark secret? Everyone gather around, grab a blanket and some spare britches, because here's the real story behind Spongebob.
So first off, everyone knows the creator, Stephen Hillenburg was a marine biologist. He had expansive knowledge of the underwater world and all the silly little creatures inhabiting it. He also knew a lot about things going on with the ocean that the average joe like you or I wouldn't know about, some of which heavily inspired his silly little fish cartoon. Some of you may be aware of the notorious Bikini Atoll incident. In which a ton of nuclear bombs were dropped on some island, and due to the name, people make connections to Bikini Bottom, the iconic town from spongebob. There is a major theory surrounding it, but it only tells half the story. Did you know Bikini Atoll was also one of the test sites of the iconic gay bombs, revealed to us by the imfamous commentator, Alex Jones? Yes, the ones that turned all the frogs gay. This is a real thing, but the mainstream media doesn't want you to know, and the elites are hiding it, just trust me. So what am I saying? The citizens of bikini bottom were made sentient from the blast, of course, but this we already know. But this is also the reason they're all gay! Don't believe me? Just you wait....
It's pretty obvious that all the members of the spongebob gang represent a different letter in the LGBTQ acronym.
Starting off with the sponge himself, SpongeRobert Squarepantington the 3rd. Very obviously residing within the home of sexual. Look no further than my personal favorite episode, "Squidward puts his tentacles in Spongebob's many holes" in which it is vaguely implied that Spongebob and Squidward may be a bit more than chums. He is also a huge fan of blowing bubbles, which is really a metaphor for the other things he's blowing. It's also worth noting that he's happy all the time. (back in the olden days, the word "gay" meant "happy") He also has a pet snail named "Gary", need I say more?
Next, we've got Sandy Cheeks of Lebanon. She's a strong woman in STEM, but this isn't what makes her a lesbian. Some may be confused "But wait, Doesn't she like nuts?" I see you saying. Well clearly, that's just what she wants you to think. I've seen the way she looks at Mrs.Puff. She doesn't have us all fooled. She also dresses like an astronaut. Typical lebanese behavior.
Then we have Squidward. Come on now, buddy! Only bisexuals play the clarinet! This guy's been around the block, Spongebob's secret boyfriend, Squilliam's ex boyfriend, and we've seen him compete against Sandy for some of that pufferfish ass. He likes it all. He's also a really artsy fellow, very bi trait. He's also pissed off all the time, which can be expected when you're constantly getting rejected by women AND men cuz damn, nobody want you fr, Squiddy.
Second to last, but not second to least, The ol' Krabinator. Mr.Krabs sure is a big tough guy. Why is it that he constantly feels the need to prove how manly he is? Could it be that in his childhood, back when Eugine was Euginia, he wasn't allowed to express himself fully, and now he is finally free? Think about it, we've seen Mr. Krabs naked before. Where is his big krabby cock? WHERE IS IT?? Isn't it also suspicious how, with both Sandy AND squidward pining for Mrs.Puff, she chose Ol' Eugine? This is because pufferfish women are notoriously into trans men for their money. A pretty well known fact in the realm of marine biology. And money is something Mr.K has a lot of. Everyone knows transgender men are good at getting that bag. Either that or he's jewish.
Now there's only one letter and one main character remaining. You already know they got Patrick all up in that Q. Patrick is 50 shades of queer. Patrick is a trigender horsekin who uses star/starself pronouns. Star is attracted to every gender that has ever existed across the realm of time. Star is also polyamorous and ready to party.
Now, why does all this matter? Why is this a creepypasta? Well, it's because I'm homophobic. I contracted it as a wee lad. It was halloween, and I had on my brave little toaster costume that I made myself. I went out trick or treating, when an older kid jumped out from behind the corner and yelled "OOGA BOOGA!" And I went AAAAAAHHHHHHH and I pissed and came all over my brave little toaster costume! The culprit who startled me was an effeminate guy with a plain white T-shirt that said "I am a homosexual". After he spooked me, he went to go high five his friend, a tall girl in thigh highs with a T-shirt that said "I'm transgender". Ever since that day, I've been terrified of gay people, and every time I see them, I scream and go AAAHHHHHHHH!! and a drop of piss trickles down my good christian little leg. So yeah, there's that. Plus, I just don't want them putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin spongebobs gay.